Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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