I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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