hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
