you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
