I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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