so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
