margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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