WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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