Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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