The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
