i don't like sucking hair
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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