yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My breasts were aching with rage.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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