We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
