3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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