Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You're completely useless in the revolution.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
