Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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