so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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