The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
