I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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