If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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