they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
