Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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