yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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