PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i think my cat just said my name.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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