found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
