do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
