I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I supernannyed him into submission
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
