I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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