the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
