i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
