I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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