while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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