Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
