he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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