She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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