your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
