Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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