3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
