I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
