Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
