hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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