Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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