My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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