everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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