I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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