Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
