Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
