but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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