i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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