You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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