sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
