Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
