This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
