I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
