i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
