you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
