we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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