Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
