Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
