I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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