it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Enjoy the penises
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
