How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
