How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
